Never say Never

Words of wisdom: Never say Never😃

When I thought about ‘Theme of the day’(for next toastmasters speech, which is ‘experiences’), I was like “Experiences” is generally associated with ‘mature & elderly’ people, surely I don’t belong to that group yet :).

But on second thought, I realize I am 29 (the secret is finally open) and if human life expectancy is 60yrs, I have already lived 50% of my life.  Half of the lifespan which includes some of the most exciting phases & of course great experiences of my life… like childhood, school days, college years, first ‘best friend’ (yes I have many best friends by now :P ), first love, first breakup, first job experience, first onsite, marriage (which comes with  an umpteen things to do & learn) etc . 

Indeed I have some amazing experiences in life already, do I belong to that ‘mature & elderly people’ club now (I asked myself in ambivalent tone)

So it is my turn to share some ‘ words of wisdom’ based on my experiences. One thing which I have learned in all these years is “Never say Never”.  We should never use this term ‘never’, because we cannot predict a particular outcome 100% of the time. As humans, we are fated to error due to a variety of factors that we have absolutely no control over. We cannot predict the person whom we will become in a year, or two, or ten, or twenty.  Moreover, the whimsical sense of humor of mind is such that, when we say “No” to something, our subconscious mind actually starts taking interest in it and chances are good that we land up doing the same thing (That’s something I found true with me all the times, not sure about yours experiences) :)

Like when I was in school, precisely in my 11^th standard, I was so much clear that I don’t want to be an engineer or doctor for that matter. I wanted to do something creative like to work as a media person, an actor, a creative head or someone in mass communications. Engineering sounded too boring and not satisfying to my creative lust. And see I landed up in a B.Tech. college somehow and working with Oracle now among all so called “Boring” people.

Let me share another experience, which is actually personal. I belong to a typical religious Brahmin family, where we don’t eat non-veg, and ‘smoking–drinking’ are strongly prohibited. For us, even talking about it is like committing a sin. I was conditioned in this environment to such an extent that I would not talk to or befriend anyone, if I know that person is either a smoker or an alcoholic or worse both. I was clear in my mind, I will never ever ‘drink or smoke’, not for the sake of trying or experimenting or for peer pressure. And then came my ‘first onsite’, when I went out of my house, without my parents, in a plane, out of India, all for the first time in my life.  I stayed there for some time and met with some amazing people. Initially, I was reluctant to interact with strangers (Remember “‘never’ get befriended with strangers” which I was telling myself for long, well that ‘never’ vanished soon). Some of my new found friends introduced me to wines and in no time I visited a vineyard and it was such a surreal experience. And then I tried few more variants, I actual started enjoying it. When I came back, I met all my close friends and took them for shots. We all bonded so well over drinks, the bonding was at another level this time, which was not the case with lemonade or cold drinks. And similarly, the introduction with smoking happened.  I didn’t enjoy it, so it didn’t last. 

One thing it changed in me was, I stopped judging people as ‘Good or Bad’ based upon their drinking/smoking or eating habits. Now, I look more for human qualities like behavior, knowledge, character and personality rather to make any perception about them. 

So widen your horizons, don’t restrict yourself within baseless rules or principals, rather open your wings and fly high in this limitless sky, called life :)